Comments on 2019-02-11 More Zak Smith

Yikes indeed. I had also grown tired of the incessant posts about online harassment, shitty people, etc. that he kept writing. But I wasn’t expecting him to be treating Mandy (and others) like this. I feel like I have been fooled.

– Enzo 2019-02-12 17:07 UTC

Yeah. 😖

– Alex Schroeder 2019-02-12 22:04 UTC

Oh man, the trash fire doesn’t end. Viv posted her story, too.

– Alex Schroeder 2019-02-13 13:36 UTC

Yeah, I saw that D:

– Enzo 2019-02-13 14:36 UTC

Some links for me. Gotta improve my narcissist spotting abilities. A lack of empathy for others should not just be a sign to disengage, but a wake up call. I talked about narcissists quite often with my wife and yet I failed to connect the dots. Ouch! 😥

Narcissistic personality disorder. How to Deal with a Narcissist.

– Alex Schroeder 2019-02-13 22:17 UTC

He’s posted a reply: The Statement.

– Enzo 2019-02-14 07:10 UTC

Thanks for the link.

– Alex Schroeder 2019-02-14 07:46 UTC

Stacy posted her story.

– Alex Schroeder 2019-02-16 12:16 UTC

Zak posted a lot of statements going the other way in The Details. When I talked about it with my wife, she said that she had read Borderliners and Narcissists often form co-dependent relationships (Auf dünnem Eis. Die Psychologie des Bösen by Lydia Benecke). I did not know this but the way she explained it to me made some sense and when I searched for the keywords online I found articles like Why Do Narcissists and Borderlines Fall in Love? and others supporting the narrative.

I still maintain that it’s hard to know what actually happened and with multiple witnesses on both sides speaking up makes it even harder to know what happened, in my opinion. Perhaps all of it is true, in one way or another, and seen through the various lenses. I certainly don’t feel like investigating this myself.

For me personally, I think the following is still true: “I definitely want to get better at spotting and handling narcissists. This is a skill I totally need to improve. I still don’t know how to do that without compromising my values. I don’t want to participate in angry mobs, I don’t want to believe every accusation, I still want people to be able to defend their position.” (2019-02-14 Narcissism)

– Alex Schroeder 2019-03-03 14:21 UTC

It seems quite likely that they both engaged in behaviour which, later on and through different lenses, can be used against them. I was wondering how many things I’ve said and done to my now wife can be interpreted as abusive. I know I have made mistakes, and we’ve grown up together for the past 15 years.

On the other hand, I really didn’t feel like copypasteing some canned message to denounce him, nor I thought crossing him out like a monster was warranted. Although he’s definitely reaped what he’s sown in terms of comprehension, compassion and benefit-of-the-doubt from his peers...

– Enzo 2019-03-03 18:19 UTC

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